Focusing on Solutions

Improved Communications:

Women and men are social beings. The couple is one primary unit beyond extended family and friends which expresses this social orientation. Sexual attraction is only one facet of the communication which is a part of your intimate couple relationship. Another facet is your ability to successfully communicate your needs and desires to your partner in a clear and self-affirming way, helping to make your relationship as both friends and lovers more successful. Communication means clearly expressing yourself and being able to listen caringly to your partner and understanding his or her needs and desires as well.

We learn how to love and communicate from our family unit. Sometimes this relationship is very loving and supportive. Other times, the family unit has expressed this communication through abusive and violent means. Communication skills are learned. This means that whether you learned them in a healthy or unhealthy family environment, you can improve skills that are already pretty solid; and learn more positive skills in order to enjoy the rewards of a warm, affectionate and supportive relationship.

Here are some things to remember as you look at your relationship with your partner. If you are having difficulty in your relationship, it probably means that you need to re-evaluate your communication skills. Two of the most common areas of difficulty in a relationship are poor communication skills and dependency on your partner to either provide for your happiness or your feeling that you must provide for his/her happiness. Your ability and clarity in how you communicate your needs and desires in relation to another person reflects on how you feel about yourself. You cannot create love or understanding when you don't like yourself.